It was a rare weekend when three girlfriends could all be found without boyfriends or husbands, work or kids. Upon realization, our morning yoga plans spilled naturally into an entire afternoon of unplanned and extremely necessary girl time. To-do lists were put on hold. Messages projecting tardiness were sent to alert the boys. And so there we were, bouncing down Highway 46 and past our self-inflicted curfews, in search of bottomless Grenache and space to chat.
We landed in a cozy, rustic-industrial tasting room. A nook was commandeered, which was comprised of a couch, mini ottomans turned mobile by casters, and a pile of board games- the latter delighting us more than each two-ounce pour by the tasting room attendant. With a good buzz, Connect Four tournaments can last all day; so we made ourselves at home underneath Edison bulbs and reclaimed wood. Laughing ensued as each of us enjoyed the spontaneity of the occasion.
At some point between losses and victory dances, the topic of balance arose: work versus life, social time versus hours alone, and juggling self-care and passion projects with our all-too-precious spare time. One friend mentioned a recent conversation that arose in her salon- a discovery that there is no such thing as being in balance, as we are forever finding it. I couldn’t agree more.
There is never a lack of searching for equilibrium among all of these roles. In the proverbial sense, it is like standing on one foot in tree pose. The toes are grasping for the earth. The body wavers ever so slightly against the breeze of gravity. Eventually, when the sways subdue to almost an infinitesimal amount, we might choose to challenge the status quo. Arms lift skyward. Eyes close.
Similarly, off of our mats, passions fluctuate. We generate new ideas about what will make us stable or more fulfilled. And so we take that next step, leaving behind our dated definition of stability and instead reach for fluidity. We lift our metaphorical arms, we close our eyes, and we ask questions and seek out answers, eager to grow, bravely riding erratic waves, and forever fueling our insatiable hunger.
Is this continual variability to say we can never be fully content? I disagree. Wholeness is a feeling that lives inside like a delicate egg, and it can Humpty Dumpty itself around like a precarious pinball, depending on our mental and emotional state. If we choose, feelings of grounding and symmetry can be present, even while we seek balance, in the same way a river continues to flow into an ever-evolving path. We can trust the process; strive for peace amidst disruption, and accept instability as the norm.
Evolving in this way is as necessary as the earth spinning to maintain livelihood: never static, but striving with grace. It is the fine-tuning of a guitar each time it is played, and the subtle adjustments in handstand- a continual recalibration of body weight. And in our lives, we too must seek homeostasis, to not only endure, but also enjoy the constant flux.
Let your passions shift. Let them evolve. Keep pursuing projects, carving out alone time, and make conscious contributions at work that leave you feeling gratified, not guilty, and not gassed. Be confident in this blindfolded dance- know a fresh or necessary change is only one decision away. And lastly, when Sunday rolls around and your girlfriends have nothing to do except play board games, sip Syrah, and erupt into laughing fits, drop every last plan and keep that damn bar tab open. Cheers to ‘seeking’ balance.